Cell Phones - A Simple Convenience that Can Lead to Problems

By LA Ferguson

58% of 12-year-olds have a cell phone. Does this mean that your child should have one? Instead of worrying about the “appropriate age,” focus on the needs of your child and your family. 

Does your child need an easy way to contact you? Do you trust him or her to be responsible with a cell phone? Have you set clear guidelines for the use of mobile devices? Considering these factors, rather than your child’s age, will help you choose what is right for your family.

When you think about your children’s online activities, do you consider their cell phones? They have evolved from simple communication devices to mobile, miniature computers. For example, smartphones have operating systems similar to that of computers which allow users to download programs or “apps.”

These apps help users do things like access e-mail and play games. Also, most cell phones allow users to download and upload content from the Internet just as they would on a computer. However, cell phones can be more difficult to monitor than a computer, and children often use them without adult supervision. Make sure to review your family’s Internet safety rules with your children and become aware of the following risks before allowing them to own cell phones

Making Cyberbullying More Painful

Cell phones make it easy for children to communicate with their friends, but they also make them vulnerable to cyberbullying. Cell phones can be used at anytime and anywhere, giving cyberbullies unlimited access to their victims. Children may send and receive mean-spirited phone calls, texts, and pictures at any hour.

Playing a Role in Grooming
 
Predators also know and take advantage of the fact that cell phones let them talk with their victims at any time. They are also aware that parents and guardians often forget to monitor children’s cell phones.

Predators may send children cell phones and ask them to keep the phones a secret. They can then talk to and exchange text messages and pictures with children without close monitoring by parents and guardians. Others may ask children for their cell phone numbers after meeting them online or try to connect with willing children by sending texts to random numbers.

Sexting Made Easy

“Sexting” is a term used to describe the sending of sexually explicit text messages or pictures of minors by minors. What most young people do not realize is that the production, possession, and distribution of explicit photos of minors, even if they are self-produced, may be illegal. Furthermore, if these explicit photos end up on the Internet, children may be taunted by their peers and jeopardize scholastic, athletic, and employment opportunities. 

Unintentional Sharing of Geolocation Data

Most smartphones have GPS technology which allows the user’s precise location to be pinpointed by apps and on websites. Social networking sites such as Twitter, FourSquare and Facebook take advantage of this technology by encouraging their users to “check-in” or share their locations. 

A “check-in” can be shared with a list of friends, so make sure you know who is on your child’s friends list before allowing them to use this type of technology. Children also may share their locations unintentionally through pictures taken with their smartphones; these photos often have geolocation data embedded in them. 

Consider disabling the location services on smartphones before allowing children to post photos online. Stay involved to maintain your child's safety.

What is Cyberbullying?

Definition of Cyberbullying

"Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor.

Cyberbullying is a growing trend. Current estimates are that as many as 20 to 35% of children and adolescents report experiencing cyberbullying as a bully, a victim, or both. 
There is no standard definition of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying has been defined as “an individual or a group willfully using information and communication involving electronic technologies to facilitate deliberate and repeated harassment or threat to another individual or group by sending or posting cruel, vulgar, or threatening text and/or graphics using technological means". 

The methods used are limited only by the child's imagination and access to technology. And the cyberbully one moment may become the victim the next. The kids often change roles, going from victim to bully and back again.

Cyberbullying can involve varying forms of technology: 

• Mobile phone calls
• Text messages
• Picture/video clips
• E-mail
• Instant messaging
• Chat rooms
• Websites
• Gaming

In a recent study, cyberbullying most commonly involved phone calls, texts and instant messages. The nature of the electronic bullying or cyberbullying often includes:

• Sending mean, vulgar, or threatening messages or images online or via text

• Posting sensitive, private information or pictures about another person
• Intentionally excluding someone from an online group
• Pretending to be someone else in order to make that person look bad²
• Spreading lies and rumors about victims
• Tricking someone into revealing personal information

The nature of gaming as a place where cyberbullying occurs, can happen through gaming websites or PC and console games with online components (e.g. Nintendo Wii, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3).

• Cyberbullying in gaming is usually referred to as "griefing" and is fairly common among young gamers who use IM, chat, and voice chat features to tease and taunt other players.

How is Cyberbullying Different from Traditional Bullying?

Despite the subtle differences, definitions share the following components which make cyberbullying distinct from traditional bullying:

• Access: It is virtually impossible for victims to get away from cyberbullies. Because most students have access to computers and cell phones at home, cyberbullies have access to and can reach their victims almost all the time. Victims do not have a safe haven as they do in cases of traditional bullying.
• Reach: Unlike traditional bullying, due to technology, the cyberbullying audience has few to no barriers and the audience easily grows almost exponentially.
• Anonymity: Cyberbullying is not a face-to-face interaction and cyberbullies hide behind technology. Anonymity which is inherent in electronic communication fosters lack of inhibition.  As a result, normal behavior restraints can disappear, allowing adolescents to act harsher than they would in real life.

Initial research has demonstrated that being a victim of cyberbullying may negatively impact students’ physical, social, emotional, and cognitive functioning

Ignore the message. Don’t ignore the problem.

One vital lesson children should learn is to ignore the message, not the problem. As parents, you have an ideal opportunity to step in and encourage children suffering from cyberbullying to speak out and fight this kind of victimization. They are best suited to tell their own stories, and their stories can make a difference.

Educate. Engage. Empower.

Educate your children about cyberbullying.

• Start a dialogue at home. Make sure your children understand what is considered cyberbullying and what isn’t.
• Talk about the possible effects and consequences of cyberbullying.
• Focus on prevention methods they may not have considered, such as not posting personal information or provocative photos that someone could use against them, and not sharing passwords with friends.

Engage them in the fight against cyberbullying.

• Take it seriously! Sometimes sticks and stones matter, so discuss feelings of guilt or depression resulting from the incident.
• Explore various ways to handle the situation, including counseling if necessary.
• Consider enacting a mediation plan utilizing school counselors; the issue may be resolved with a bit of intervention.

Empower them to lead the fight against cyberbullying.

• Encourage your children to start an awareness group at school or online to educate their peers about cyberbullying.
• Get the school involved. Just because it happens at home does not mean the school can’t help. Encourage your children to learn about their school’s cyberbullying policy and urge administrators to take a stand against all forms of bullying.
• Let your children tell you about their experiences online.

Cyberbullying may arise to the level of a misdemeanor cyberharassment charge, or if the child is young enough may result in the charge of juvenile delinquency. Most of the time the cyberbullying does not go that far, although parents often try and pursue criminal charges. It typically can result in a child losing their ISP or IM accounts as a terms of service violation. And in some cases, if hacking or password and identity theft is involved, can be a serious criminal matter under state and federal law.

When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right. They also, often lose. Schools can be very effective brokers in working with the parents to stop and remedy cyberbullying situations. They can also educate the students on cyberethics and the law. If schools are creative, they can sometimes avoid the claim that their actions exceeded their legal authority for off-campus cyberbullying actions. We recommend that a provision is added to the school's acceptable use policy reserving the right to discipline the student for actions taken off-campus if they are intended to have an effect on a student or they adversely affect the safety and well-being of student while in school. This makes it a contractual, not a constitutional, issue.

Some people say that bullying will always happen no matter what you do. That kind of defeatist attitude does not effect change. Cyberbullying has become a serious problem, one that requires parents, educators and children to take action. Parental instinct tells you to protect your children, but why not empwoer them to protect themselves and their peers? Let your children lead the fight against cyber bullying; they're more prepared than you might think.

Signs of Bullying - Warning Signs that Your Child is Being Bullied

Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it is repeated over time. Bullying can take many forms, such as hitting and/or punching (physical bullying); teasing or name-calling (verbal bullying); intimidation using gestures or social exclusion (nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying); and sending insulting messages by phone or computer e-mail (cyberbullying). Many children, particularly boys and older children, do not tell their parents or adults at school about being bullied, so it's important that adults are vigilant to possible signs of bullying. Here's a guide to recognizing the signs of bullying, and getting it to stop.

Warning signs:

Possible warning signs that a child is being bullied include:

• Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings
• Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
• Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time
• Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs)
• Takes a long, "illogical" route when walking to or from school
• Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school
• Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home
• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments
• Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
• Experiences a loss of appetite
• Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem

What to do if you suspect that your child is being bullied?

If your child shows any of these signs, this does not necessarily mean that he or she is being bullied, but it is a possibility worth exploring. What should you do? Talk with your child and talk with staff at school to learn more.

1. Talk with your child.

Tell your child that you are concerned and that you’d like to help. Here are some questions that can get the discussion going:

Some direct questions:

• "I’m worried about you. Are there any kids at school who may be picking on you or bullying you?"
• "Are there any kids at school who tease you in a mean way?"
• "Are there any kids at school who leave you out or exclude you on purpose?"

Some subtle questions:

• "Do you have any special friends at school this year? Who are they? Who do you hang out with?"
• "Who do you sit with at lunch and on the bus?"
• "Are there any kids at school who you really don’t like? Why don’t you like them? Do they ever pick on you or leave you out of things?"

2. Talk with staff at your child’s school.

Call or set up an appointment to talk with your child’s teacher. He or she will probably be in the best position to understand the relationships between your child and other peers at school. Share your concerns about your child and ask the teacher such questions as:

• "How does my child get along with other students in his or her class?"
• "With whom does he or she spend free time?"
• "Have you noticed or have you ever suspected that my child is bullied by other students?" Give examples of some ways that children can be bullied to be sure that the teacher is not focusing only on one kind of bullying (such as physical bullying).